Finding My Happy Place

Hallo,

To my awesome readers,

I have to begin by appreciating your wonderful messages of condolences, comfort and love. Many times when I have a bad day I come back to this blog to read all your encouraging words. 2017 was not a very good year, I went in and out of depression a couple of times but I thank God for a supportive husband, family and friends that helped me through those trying times. I had to come to terms with child loss which is not easy.

This year am trying to find my happy place, I use the term ‘trying’ because am not even sure what that really means. I am trying to find my smile again; I am trying to get to a place where I can be my best. I am trying to learn to accept my grief and to live with it.  I am learning to wear my pain and work with it. I am trying to work on me, being better person, a better wife, daughter sister and friend; being an awesome mum to my wonderful son so look out for my motherhood adventures. 2018 is dedicated to following my dreams unapologetically. Learning new things, finding new passions and travelling more 🙂 ….

For the longest time I wanted to do a blog, even before 2017 but I was always afraid of failure. As Paulo Coelho writes fear of defeats is one of the greatest obstacles to pursuing our dreams. He further writes that when we begin to pursue our dreams, it’s difficult because we have no experience so we end up making many mistakes but patience is key. This year am taking that leap of faith to pursue my dreams and hoping I get better while finding my happy place.

Last but not least is send lots of love to everyone who has read this blog, shared it on any platform and for your loving and encouraging messages. Thank you so much. It is my hope and prayer that you will continue to find the blog as informative and as interesting as ever.

Join me for this crazy ride… Finding my happy place…

The beginning

My husband Isaac Mwaura and I were happily expecting Triplets due in April 2017 , on 19th January 2017 at 10.10am , 10.11am and 10.12am we delivered our 3 beautiful babies ; 2 boys  and one gal . 11 weeks later we left the hospital with one baby boy and a hospital bill of Ksh11.2m.

Sometimes in life, something happens and shakes up your life in ways that you never imagined. Until this actually happens you never know your limit, you never know how much you can take, how much you can fight and how much you can pray. This is a period where our faith was tried and tested; over and over again. We saw that tiny ray of hope so many times never actually reaching the end of the tunnel ,and when we finally did the trauma was so much we did not know whether to celebrate or to expect more trials .

At 28weeks pregnant the last thing I expected was to deliver my babies, so when I got strange cramp pains at around 9pm on Wednesday 18th January,  labour was the last thing on my mind. I called my doctor who told me to head to the labour ward ,this was not strange as I had been admitted to the labour ward several times before in the course of the pregnancy . So once we got to the labour ward they started giving me meds to hold or reverse the labour. By 3am that night I was in full blown labour, at around 7am the doctor checked in and said we would be going into the delivery room for an emergency CS. The theatre was fully booked but they managed to get space; actually a friend of mine who later lost her baby in the delivery room allowed me to go in before her (I will share her story soon )

On 19th January 2017  at 10.10 baby Mwaura Maigua Mwaura Jr arrived at 1.2 kg, a minute later Baby Njiru Maigua Mwaura arrived weighing 1.12kg and a minute later beautiful Njeri Maigua Mwaura made her majestic entrance at 1.02kg . Babies were rushed to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU)- a place I would call home for the next 3 months . And that began a difficult journey …a journey of tears, joy , Doubt, Hope, prayer, joy, questions, repentance but mostly experiencing God .

To be continued ……………………………………