I always find it always funny when one of my friends tells me she is going to call herself for a meeting. I am sure we have all had one of those me, myself and I moments where we need to deal with an issue. One of my high school teachers used to say that neutrotypical minds should talk to themselves more than the mentally unstable people who we see walking around having animated conversations alone. Isn’t it nice though to actually talk to yourself? When everything shuts down and we are left with ourselves what do we actually hear; What is our inner self talk all about?
The words we use to talk to ourselves make us who we are; are we too harsh on ourselves, do we applaud ourselves or are we the first to downplay our own achievements? What kind of self-talk are we having when we are left alone to ourselves? Is it negative or positive self-talk?
I borrow something from my mother’s French – Kuiihuria; meaning you fill yourself …. HAH!! I feel like am having one of those inner talk moments where am the only one who understand what am saying – what I mean is you have to believe in yourself, fill yourself and feel yourself; Get it? Fill yourself and feel yourself.
Okay! Let us break it down;
Believing in yourself is all about self-trust; how much do we trust ourselves; Having self-trust means that you know yourself and you love the person you are. It means you are aware of what works for you and what doesn’t; you know where you are going, you love yourself enough to trust your decisions both big and small. You also don’t fear failure based on your decisions because your sense of worth is not external. Believing in yourself also means that you are consistently rooting for yourself and having the ability to take care of yourself in hard situations with abundant self-compassion that allows you to stand up each time you fall.
Iyanla Vanzant talks about how we treat ourselves; We have to put ourselves first, keep ourselves hale and hearty. Make sure your cup runneth over; what is in the cup is for me what overflows is for other people. Always keep your cup full of love, patience, kindness, self-trust and all a lot positive energy that you can find. When your filled up from the inside then you have the self-assurance to walk gracefully through life trails knowing very well that they exist to make us stronger and prepare us for better days ahead.
Let’s come to Feeling ourselves!
This we need to do every second of our existence and I don’t mean being vain and throwing your weight around. It means to have that unwavering self-confidence; believing in your abilities and who you are. Sounds a little like self-trust doesn’t it? it sure does but this goes and extra mile of being your own cheerleader and taking intentional time and effort to motivate yourself. You know how cheerleaders will say the craziest things to give their team motivation; sometimes unrealistic but it works. Yes, we need to do that to and for ourselves.
Sometimes we meet a lady dressed in jeans a t-shirt and some cute heels nothing special or extra ordinary but she will display a certain feeling of composure that just gives extra something to the way she looks. Feeling yourself is having that internal unexplained overwhelming self- assertion that yes I can and yes I am doing it!
I always remember powerful words that say the mind is everything, what you think you become. Self-trust and self-confidence go hand in hand; it doesn’t matter the odds against us. However, this does not mean that we don’t fail, it just means that we look at failure from a positive angle; we rise up after each fall and we learn with every failure.
Positive self-talk enables us to have self-trust to cultivate the life that we desire and enjoy. Positive self-talk reminds us that we deserve the best; we deserve to be loved; we deserve to be nurtured and cared for; we deserve to be respected and treated kindly. Only when we integrate this into our lives we can also be able to give the same to the people in our lives.
Positive self-talk allows us to Make bold decisions and chase what we want just because we can. It enables us to create a beautiful internal environment where we can enjoy our own company, be ourselves without the need of external validation thus making us Kings and Queens in our own lives.
I hope that everybody who reads this article today leaves here knowing that it all starts with You !
Showing Up for Yourself
Standing Up For Yourself
Believing In Yourself!
Positive self-talk with help you manifest a beautiful mindset